Ok, people, let's be honest here? How many of you have actually sat down with your kids and asked them the one question many parents fear asking, "have you been touched?" It's a conversation that we all should have with our kids because nowadays we have to be more careful with our kids than we ever have.
In new relationships, what do you think is the appropriate time to have your kids meet someone new? Some say six months to a year after they start dating them, and some will say a year to two years, where there are the idiots who will say they don't have a time period before bringing someone new into the home. I'm sorry, but I have a daughter who is 16 now and if my boyfriend and I were to ever break up for any reason (we've been together 15 years now) but nobody else is coming into my household whether or not she was still in the house or not. It just doesn't make sense to put our kids through that kind of drama of introducing them to someone you barely even know. It's dangerous and it's irresponsible.
Let's take it one step even further, nowadays you have to watch everyone you bring around your children. You have to watch the teachers at school, bus drivers, people at the store...you have to be mindful of everyone your children are surrounded by. We dont' live in the kind of world where we can leave our kids with anyone and not expect something to happen while we're away. We can't leave our children with just anyone who would be deemed as a complete stranger. Even baby sitters and nannies can't be trusted regardless of who they are.
My thing is if I can't take my child with me, then I just don't go -- that would be if my mother couldn't watch her or if my boyfriend wasn't planning on being at home. There's no point in me jeopardizing her life just to satisfy my own needs. I'm not going to leave her in the house all hours of the night while I'm out doing my thing, that just asking for trouble because people are watching you when you least expect them to be watching, and they tend to know your every move, hence stalkers, preditors and psycho paths.
Bottom line, if you can prevent an incident from occurring, don't put your kids in that kind of situation. And if you suspect something's happened just in the change of their attitude, get down to the bottom of it right away. Confront them, ask them questions, find out what wrong with them. If they tell you, don't take sides other than your kid's side. Don't treat it as if it were their fault. Because trust me, no relationship is worth holding on to when your kids have been harmed in any kind of way by those you trusted would never bring harm against your kids. But you'd be surprised at how many mothers will take the word of their man or whomever else over their kids just to save the relationship. Why?
Love your kids. Talk to your kids. They are never too old or too you to address the issue. It is what it is and when they know you've got their back, they are going to be open and honest with you.
