Friday, November 27, 2009

B.S. is Common-Place in Our Daily Lives

There is absolutely no way around B*** S***.  In fact, it is common-place in our daily lives.  Whether we are at work, at home with our family, hanging out with friends, running errands -- whatever the case, B.S. is everywhere.  And there's just no other way to deal with it than dealing with it head on.  Blowing up doesn't really solve the problem, only creates sour emotions between you and the other person.  There is no such thing as a perfect life, unless you're Jesus Christ, and we all know there's only one Masiah.  Fact is, you need to know how to handle it while keeping a level head.

I, myself, shut down.  It's the only way to avoid unnecessary arguments because when you look back you'll think, "was that argument really necessary?"  And believe me, I've had some silly quibbles that made no sense at the end. 

In a marriage, B.S. between a husband and wife is a given.  There are going to be your disagreements, uncomfortable situations and disappointments.  How these elements of a relationship are handled depends on the maturity level of the two individuals.  In most cases, though, in a solid relationship built on a solid foundation will have protocols in place to handle these kinds of situations.  In other words, they didn't go into being married blindly.  They actually took some time to learn each other, be fully aware and informed of their prior relationships, their past, and any other skeletons that could come out of the closet later on.  But lets keep in mind that even the best marriages that seem perfect on the outside can have its problems behind closed doors, only because the dirty laundry is not aired.

I say don't go crying about the smallest level of B.S. you encounter.  Step back, analyze it, and find a logical way to handle it.  If it's a situation that's threatening your marriage altogether, think of what the consequences would be if you stayed vs. if you left.  What would you gain by staying and what would you gain by leaving.  Don't let ongoing B.S. consume you if there is a way out of it, and it means ending a relationship just to save your sanity, and talking and counseling, and other resources to saving the relationship have been exhausted, the next best thing is to walk away.  Save yourself.  Save your children (if any), they will thank you in the end as long has you are truthful as to why you left to begin with.

Stay strong.  It can only get better in the end.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Celebrating The Old, Ringing in the New

While most of everyone I know will be out celebrating the end of 2009, to ring in the new year, I'll be sitting at home sipping on watered down eggnog, watching television re-runs, while waiting for James to come home from work so we can have our New Year's brandy. No, I didn't order the bling-bling shoes I profiled on my Facebook page only because I didn't want to suffer the agony of knowing I had those kick-ass shoes among my collection of shoes, with nowhere to wear them. I have plenty of clothes to stress over for that.

In my fashion and shoe blogs, I'll be talking about what you can expect women to be showing off at New Year's Eve parties, the hottest places that will be parying it up and the hottest styles around. I don't go out much any more, which means I don't have much of a social life to be too be wowed over, which pretty much confines me to the house.

I can't say 2009 was all that disappointing. I got a promotion on my job in April, my daughter graduated from 8th grade with flying colors. My sister got to come home, and myself, my mom, James all went to the ceremony together [in one car]. Which was nice, I'm only sorry we didn't have any activities planned afterwards.

I was hoping to have left town for my birthday, instead I settled for a so-called party I had to pay for, which didn't at all turn out like I had hoped. Leaving town would have saved me the anguish I went through before and after, especially since it's obvious I'm not going to get the party I've always wanted as an adult.

And don't get me started on vacation days and weekends...all spent just sitting at home, watching reruns on television, hearing how my friends are out living it up, and I'm surround by the walls of my house. Fact is I'm starting to feel old. And I'm just 42. The end of this year can't come soon enough. And I keep hoping for something better, more excitement, it's just never going to come.