Obviously we are forgetting or have forgotten the importance and value of true love and the honor of relationships. Fools are rushing in to situations they know absolutely nothing about and when they go astray, they quickly look for someone to blame. It puzzles me how people think they know so much about someone when the truth to the matter is they don't. And what's also amazing is how people get married after only being together for weeks and barely months, and call it love. It's fool's love, that's what it is, and the only way to truly know someone is to spenda good amount of time with that person, then and only then you'll know if that person is right for you.
A person going into marriage knowing that their significant other is not compatible to them is the biggest mistake anyone can make. If you know he or she has a problem with cheating, lying, stealing, alcoholism, drugs, staying out of jail, gangbanging -- these are significant signs that perhaps you should run the other direction. Marrying into these types of elements can prove fatal later on and can ultimately destroy any real chances you may have for a prosperous future.
Ok, so you love him/her, but in the end, what will have it brought you with all of the problems you've experienced? If there have been one lie after another as to where he/she has been, doing, living, etc., do you really think that marrying this person is going to change them? Better yet, do you think bringing a child into the picture is going to make things work between you? It's practically done everyday and no one is looking at the real picture as to why the problems persist.
Scenario:
She has been with him for a little over ten years. She loves him dearly, enough to have put up with every kind of problem she can imagine, including suspicions of him being with other women. Out of the ten years she's been with him, she's been married to him for the past three years and is finding that nothing has really changed, except the fights have escalated, the arguments have increased, the excuses have become more creative, the distrust has risen, and she's finding that spending time with an old flame brings no regrets. At the same time she loves her husband...willing to go through the bullshit as long as she can, wanting to believe everything he says, even when he tells her, "no, I'm not sleeping with her, she just gives me money for what I sell." To want to believe her marriage can be saved, she's convinced herself that having another baby is going to make things between them more stable and put their marriage on solid grounds. Their incoming income is very little, barely enough to sustain them throughout the month, and yet she's lead herself to believe that she needs to be home as much as possible to convince him of her love and support for him even though he's beginning to stay out late nights, not come home sometimes, and fails to call to let her know of his whereabouts. And when she talks to others about the situations at home, surprisingly she has excuses for every thing he does, including the fights and arguments they have. Is this marriage worth saving?
Ok, so let's look at the obvious here, they fight and argue, they have little to no income, he stays out and often doesn't come home, he doesn't call, he lies, does this sound like a healthy marriage? Even after being with him seven years prior to marrying him, the signs were there that it would be a mistake getting into a union that doesn't prove healthy in any instance. I've been through a marriage that held nothing but one argument after another, one fight after another -- where I had to make excuses for everything he did just to not appear weak in everyone else's eyes. Where I had to maintain a house and home while he spent his money on other people, material things, drugs, and alcohol; entertained people while I rolled pennies just to buy pampers and formula because I had just paid all of the bills and rent. It was an eye opening experience after a while and with a baby, I finally had to make up my mind that this relationship wasn't going to work. I was putting in more than he was and basically was a husband whenever someone else brought it to his attention that he was slacking off.
But you know what, it's lessons in life that we all have to learn at some point. Marriage is not a matter of convenience to the other person or to each other. It's not just about sex and money. If you can't put the real value into why two people get married, it's all a complete waste of time. And if the only reason why you get married is to enjoy the pleasures of cheating, think of who you are hurting in the process.
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